Tuesday, May 22, 2012

Sorry, Hallmark. I’m Taken.

Something occurred to me earlier when I was contemplating how disgusting spawning is. And then I realized my epiphany would make a great baby shower card.

Dear Nancy,

Only two kinds of people have humans in their bellies: cannibals and pregnant women. 

Congratulations on being the latter!!

On the upside, you got an entire human into your gut legally. On the downside, it’s gonna hurt a whole lot worse when yours comes out.

Tenderness and whatnot,


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